Casualties of Score

Report by Liam Johnstone

Looking around at each other in bewilderment, Best Friends were beyond desperate for an urgent response. Outrun and outgunned for forty minutes straight, screams for back-up drowned out only by those for mercy, BFU had been cast into footballing hellfire. Their Powerleague form had been bad, but how on Earth had it come to this?

Jovial and upbeat after a close-run contest last time out against Five and Drive, the Friends entered tonight’s match-up against FC Pollen with hope that despite their poor run of late, things were looking up. More good news would reach their ears as Best Friends discovered they’d be a man up over Pollen for the opening moments of the game, a seldom seen advantage going the way of the Best.

Failing to capitalise on the opportunity, an intense opening period saw BFU behind within an instant. Ben Lacey, stranded by a hapless defence, did all he could to secure the Best Friends net as Pollen’s goalmouth onslaught dawned before his very eyes. A second spot-kick finish in two games for Bayley did little to lift the spirits of Friends who were concerned chiefly with the swiftly developing failures at the other end of the pitch.

At the halfway point Best Friends were staring down the barrel of a foregone conclusion, but the Friends had one final ace up their sleeve and, their hand forced, would unleash their secret weapon.

Careening from between the posts came Lacey, whose fresh legs and spirited tenacity in the face of adversity added a sorely needed newfound vigour to the Friends front line. Reinvigorated after a turgid first half, Bayley would strike twice after play resumed to tally a first-ever Best Friends hat-trick. After the ensuing reset, Lacey would come close before T. Easton finished at the far post, capping off the Friends’ tally at four on the day.

Not even a Lacey “Cruyff-pass” however, could delay the inevitable and for all the excitement Friends’ forward play would yield, they would pay for it tenfold at the wrong end of the pitch. Cast as Lacey’s replacement in between the posts, Johnstone’s second turn as Best Friends goalkeeper would be one that he would not soon forget. Facing a barrage of attacks from an increasingly ebullient FC Pollen, Johnstone watched on in horror as his defensive line crumbled. Left to mount a one-man backstop against the forthcoming tide of tactical virtuosity, Johnstone would proceed to succumb to a cavalcade of concessions with no reply as Pollen piled on goals in spades.

Pinned down under relentless Pollen artillery, the Friends’ back line would falter and flail as the count went beyond twenty, a sight unforeseen by the Best and a stark reminder, as if it were needed, that success in this league doesn’t come easily.

The result left Best Friends circling the drain of Powerleague Division 3 with a goal difference of a staggering -37 and the only team in Vauxhall that remains on zero points. Despite the emotional toll, the financial cost laid bare the story of the evening. Best Friends spent 31p per goal conceded and £9.00 each per goal of their own, little in the way of recompense however to account for the heavy price paid in footballing credibility.

Chalk this one up to another learning experience, Best Friends forever. Xxx