Schlupp, Schlupp and Away

Report by Liam Johnstone

On a night unlike any other night, that would, like all other nights, go down in history, seven Friends rode West in search of fortune and glory. Their aim? To conquer the astroturf weekly at Powerleague Vauxhall and to write their names into the annals of footballing history, and who’s to say, perhaps make some Friends along the way.

Tucked in at the table, napkin-draped with cutlery in the firm grasp of their clammy hands, the freshly anointed Best Friends United FC were hungry for goals and by 7:30pm famished, ready to dig into a feast of football.

Cue a rich thread of obscenities cast in the direction of the referee, shambolic defending, passes to nowhere and build-up play that to this day is yet to break ground. Were it not for the valiant protection of defenders Monro and T. Easton, goalkeeper Johnstone may have shipped more than the ten he saw rattle past him. At sixes and sevens, these six or seven conceded on the counter tenfold; football, as it turns out, is somewhat more involved than Super Sunday would have one believe.

In attack, Bayley and Bill would prove to be the brightest sparks among the Best, connecting play in the middle of the park with footwork to match, giving BFU the best of their chances in front of goal.

Friends’ endeavours into the opponents half were not without reward, but why venture so far when you can score just as well from your own? Bayley bagged the inaugural Best Friends flush from distance to pull back a goal, bringing hope to the hearts of an otherwise floundering and forlorn fellowship.

After a brief skirmish with a plucky Schlupp defender, Sanei struck from just outside the D to add a scintillating second for the Friends. At only 8-2 down Best were looking up, if however only as far as the Schlupp goal tally, steadily rising ever further out of reach before them.

An improved second half saw Best Friends fight back with some solid pressing and passing, a lot of “nice ideas” as observed on-field by B. Easton, but little in the way of pay-off. Ten to the good meant Schlupp were victorious, having shot Friends to pieces.

The Best Friends goalmouth remained as wide open as this season’s early transfer market, the promise of which may bring in potential goalkeeper Ben Lacey by way of recruitment, a hope for the future of the team and if nothing else, to stem the tide of defensive concessions.

A victory on the day for Wup Wup In The Schlupp, but rest assured dear Friends, we will have our vengeance, in this Wednesday night fixture or the next.

Until next week, Best Friends forever.